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You can be joyous, you can love, you can be loved, you can be grateful… what is life for you?

What’s the Truth About You?

At first I was surprised. Very few people want to find out what’s the truth about them. It was stunning to me, given what I know about life: Unless you know what you are up against you will shoot in the dark when you want to change direction, or results.

But then I looked again.

People don’t want to do the work. And they especially don’t want to do the work if it means they have to look at their own ugliness.

Don’t be mistaken: we are all ugly inside. Ever since Adam and Eve put on the fig leaves as costume, human being are trying to cover up, hide, and pretend that their shadow side doesn’t exist.

You learn, real fast, if you live in a country where people wear clothes, that being a girl or being a boy is not a physical thing, it’s a behavior thing. It’s not that you have a different equipment, it is that you are supposed to play with dolls if you are a girl, and you are not allowed to cry if you are a boy.

No one talks about your private

What's the Truth About You?

At first I was surprised. Very few people want to find out what's the truth about them. It was stunning to me, given what I know about life: Unless you know what you are up against you will shoot in the dark when you want to change direction, or results.

But then I looked again.

People don't want to do the work. And they especially don't want to do the work if it means they have to look at their own ugliness.

Don't be mistaken: we are all ugly inside. Ever since Adam and Eve put on the fig leaves as costume, human being are trying to cover up, hide, and pretend that their shadow side doesn't exist.

You learn, real fast, if you live in a country where people wear clothes, that being a girl or being a boy is not a physical thing, it's a behavior thing. It's not that you have a different equipment, it is that you are supposed to play with dolls if you are a girl, and you are not allowed to cry if you are a boy.

No one talks about your privates, as if they were a dirty secret, something to be ashamed of, something to hide, something wrong.

And those "privates" become much more interesting than dolls or toy soldiers: anything that is not allowed becomes more interesting than what is allowed.

So, if you didn't start earlier, you start building a whole life of secret fascination with your own privates, other children's privates, other people's privates. And depending on your inclination to be obedient and fearful or proper... you will feel horrible about yourself, a fraud, a fake, a bad person.

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Become Who You Were Meant To Be

Become who you were meant to be

Really nice and really loaded title, would you agree? It means that you are not who you were meant to be. You are someone else, and that flies in the face of determinists.

Determinists say that your life is scripted, and you have no choice about it. You choose what you have in store for you. You have no free will.

But the truth is that human beings do have free will.

So what is this “who you were meant to be” stuff? Determinist or free will stuff… good question.

Every choice is somewhat pre-determined by the past, by the family you were born into.

The past gets into the choice by the mind storing everything that happened to you and placing it in your future as something to avoid, or something to repeat.

When you get hurt, or laughed at, or feel ashamed about, you vow never to do that again. That places it square into your future, and it sits there, blocking your view, preventing exercising your free will, it sits there like a golem

Become who you were meant to be

Really nice and really loaded title, would you agree? It means that you are not who you were meant to be. You are someone else, and that flies in the face of determinists.

Determinists say that your life is scripted, and you have no choice about it. You choose what you have in store for you. You have no free will.

But the truth is that human beings do have free will.

So what is this "who you were meant to be" stuff? Determinist or free will stuff... good question.

Every choice is somewhat pre-determined by the past, by the family you were born into.

The past gets into the choice by the mind storing everything that happened to you and placing it in your future as something to avoid, or something to repeat.

When you get hurt, or laughed at, or feel ashamed about, you vow never to do that again. That places it square into your future, and it sits there, blocking your view, preventing exercising your free will, it sits there like a golem, it sits there as the only choice there is.

There is a favorite example I learned in a born again Christian magazine I picked up at a train station some 15-20 years ago. It has made a profound difference in my life. It has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with explaining why our life looks the way it does, why we are the way we are.

Here is the story

Imagine driving on a mountain road that bends around the mountain climbing higher and higher. On one side the mountain, on the other side the abyss... the ravine, the depth.

It's a beautiful morning, your radio blasts your favorite music, and you love your life.

As you go around yet another bend, you see, horrified, a car crash on the road. The road is narrow, and you need to choose how to avoid your certain death.

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